I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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