Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
