I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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