Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Acid is not a monday night drug
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
