We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
