at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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