im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
