Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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