She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
