i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
