Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
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