I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
