I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
