So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
