Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
