i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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