I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize