She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize