so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
