Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize