Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
