There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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