I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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