I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
