Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
