You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
