I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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