You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
