Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize