Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
