take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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