would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
