I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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