Someone shit on the floor
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
