yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize