Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
