well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
