Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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