Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize