i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize