I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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