I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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