your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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