dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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