she kept yelling 'call me bella'
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
