Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My cat gives me a boner
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
