so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
