Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
