P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
