Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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