I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There's always time for handjobs
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
