Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
