an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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