nut hugger
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So squirting runs in the family.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
