I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
