Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
