do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
