my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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