and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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