piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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