doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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