True but thats because hes a fetus.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
