I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
