i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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