i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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