I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
