I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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