I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So much Jack, so little girl.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
