I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
