i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
