I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
