I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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