Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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